Who Am i? - a poem

Who am I?
I am beauty, I am love
My heart cracks wide open
when I let the light of love in
The real me is ready to emerge…

To nurture myself means to put
nutritious food in my body
For it is the container that holds my soul.

My body, my spine, is my masculine
It helps, supports myself, and my feminine flow
It allows my emotions to cascade and rumble
through me without collapsing.

I am a dreamer, I am an idealist
I am a romantic, I am a lover
But sometimes, things get fuzzy and muddy
As I allow the cycle of death to run through me.

I have the ability to feel deep pain.
At first, I was afraid of it
Gave it my power
Now, I am not longer afraid of my anger
I allow it to speak to me
to indicate what pain is left to run through me
So that I find Freedom.

The pain has been trapped in my body
for many years
Making me afraid of my own emotions
Seeking for someone, something
outside of me, to take it all away.

But today I see it is up to me.
To let that deep fear evaporate
from my nervous system.
To unlock the true depth of myself.

I release it through dance, yelling,
shaking, moaning, expression -
Tears rolling down my face as I
open my body and my heart.

It feels exhilarating.
It feels like freedom.

I am in the extraction process
of letting my past die -
a metaphorical death
that has slowly been making its way out.

I am at the root.
I am ready to yank it out with fierce love,
stare it in the eye
and tell it
it no longer runs my life.
I run my life.

This depth is the truth of who I am.
So is my joy and optimism
But this depth is what I’ve been afraid to show.

I judged myself - am I crazy?
I now know that I am not. I am love.

I feel it all.
I feel myself, others, the collective.
I feel the subtle energies,
the emotions of those all around me.

I feel your pain, and my pain
I feel you joy, and your love
I feel your dreams and desires
And I feel the fear that overlays it all.

I feel your yearning for freedom,
for love
Because that is who we are all meant to be
Unapologetic, pure, unconditional love.

When I connect with God I feel peace.
I feel trust, support, love, embrace, union.
I feel the truth of myself.

I understand that I am not my pain
I am not my joy
I am not my past
I am not my present or my future

I am a being of light.
An extension of source creation
A child of God.

Who is on this mother earth
to fill it all
with infinite amounts of love

To bring peace
harmony
fire
laughter
and freedom
to all I encounter
The freedom from ourselves.

I release all blame from everyone in my past.
I release all responsibility for others emotions and journeys
Because we are all here on our own path to self.

In turn
I am thankful for Source Creation
for all the beauty and love
this world has to offer

And I am thankful for my parents -
they are the reason I am here -
To be the beauty and love
that I have to offer.